Une question de regards English
by Izz2000
Summary: You've always been better than me. You've always been the first. Me? I'm standing in your shadow and love you in silence. Ahito, Thran and Micro-Ice... three chapters, three POVs. English translation of the story by MaXou-ShinI.
1. Chapter 1

**Une question de regards**

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**First of all, this fic does NOT belong to me. I've only made the translation into English! If you are able to understand French you should try and read the original: ****.net/s/5815081/1/**** Don't be so lazy, folks! :D**

**Anyways, ****I tried to keep the translation as close to the original as possible, because I didn't want to end up changing the style of writing. Also, English is not my native language so there might me some mistakes. I've tried my best, but I would be very happy if someone could beta this fic. Preferably someone who's a native speaker of English and/or very good at it (a little knowledge of French wouldn't be bad either, I guess). Thanks! **

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Alphanim. ****Story belongs to the wonderful MaXou-ShinI. **

**Pairing: Ahito X Thran, a little bit of Thran X OC and Sinedd X Micro-Ice**

**Summary: You've always been better than me. You've always been the first. Me? I'm standing in your shadow and love you in silence.**

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Ton regard pareil au mien

"I have a girlfriend you know."

I knew. It had been days since he had behaved normally. Some days he seemed to be hiding something. So that was it. When my brain analyzed what he had said, I was in shock. But when I thought about it a little later, it seemed so logical. Even if it hurt, it was logical.

My twin brother Thran was born ten minutes before me. There are only ten minutes difference between us. Only. But that's enough to create this gap between us. He has always been better than me. In school, he was among the best students of the class, while I was always close to repeating class. Thran has invented a few things, and he knows a lot about computers. Thran has many things to talk about, all different and exciting. Thran is much better than me; he has always been one step ahead. Me, I'm just observing from afar despite trying to reach his level. I'm dying of jealousy while watching him. He is the strongest, the best of us.

But one day we found ourselves on a footing of equality. We were both recruited for the football team of our planet. Finally, equality. At least, that's what I thought. But once again, he showed me his superiority. He scored. I didn't. He managed to block so many attacks. I must admit, I'm just no good. And I watched him from behind on the field. I watched him. I observed his every move.

I am pathetic.

Frankly, I'm pathetic, I can't put it any other way. I even looked in the dictionary: pathetic. Someone who is unfortunate in regard to what they might grieve over or why they would have cause to complain. Who inspires pity. Who is very poor. Conclusion: I am pa-the-tic.

I sigh. I am currently in my room, lying on my bed. I sigh again. Sunday afternoon.

"Well Ahito? You okay?"

Yes, of course, I'm lying on my bed on the verge of depression, but all is well! I curse the three morons who dare to populate my living space.

"Yes, I'm fine ...

- Okay. Uh ... Rocket and me, we gotta go ... "

That's it, you jerks, insensitive jerks! I'm at the edge of death, and these two morons just shoot off with their respective girlfriends ... Why don't you just die already!

"Micro-Ice, do me a favour. Pass me a rope ...

- How am I am I supposed to find it in your mess?

- Are you criticizing my storage system?

He laughs and sits on the tabletop. What's great about him is that he does not ask questions like "Why?" Because of what? ". You're down, he cares. I opened my eyes to look at him. He's looking into my dictionary. Damn! I put a bookmark to a certain definition! And – like in slow motion – I see him open this exact page and read the definition highlighted in orange. Fuck.

Incest. Sexual intercourse involving people with biological kinship or family responsibility.

Finally, he should get it. I could have avoided that.

For how long have I loved my brother? No idea. But I remember the first time that I've realized it. It was after the final. That was one year ago. (Damn it, a year already!) After the overall euphoria had worn off, we had to prepare for the mega party evening. He was taking a shower. And then in the big anarchy of the moment, BAM! Everyone in boxers, everybody in the shower. And I see my brother dieing of laughter wearing blue shorts, wet hair and posing for the camera held by Rocket ... I finally realized that I felt something for him.

And damn! A year later, this fool comes to me and says: "I have a girlfriend you know." Damn, I hate him! ... Actually, no, I do not hate him, I love him so much. And it hurts so much. Damn, now that Micro-Ice catches my eyes ... Yes, it's true, I'm crazy about my twin brother, what does it...

" Ahito, did you already ... ..."

Huh? Ah, yes. Intercourse. Uh ... Does imagining Thran's hands on me count? Nah? Well then, no.

"No!" You're sick! Forget about it ... ... You can't understand ...

- Unrequited love?"

And for the first time I look properly into his eyes. He's so strong. Micro-Ice. It doesn't happen often that he looks at me so seriously. He is too strong; the best. I can only lower my eyes.

"Yes.

- ... I' d like to say welcome to the club, but we'll see about that later.

- Pardon? And since when are you still in love with Mei?

- We'll talk about that some other time. Have you told him? "

Subtle change of subject. I lower my eyes again.

"No.

- And what are you waiting for?

- As if it's that easy!

- Well, it's easy! You go see him, and you tell him!

- I'd like to see you do that... I'm going to throw up or something!

- He's your brother, he'll understand...

- Well, actually, I'm not sure...

- You going to tell him! Or I'll do in your place! "

NO! I will not, not even under torture! I guess I'm made to love him in silence. I have to face the truth: He is my brother. We can never... I could never…! And the mere idea twists my heart. It's so unfair ... I feel the tears come. This is not the first time I cry because of him, but it is the first time I feel Micro-Ice's arms of around my shoulders. Damn, it's not fair ... And I cry, I cannot stop. And even my friend's words can't do anything about it.

"Ahito ... Don't worry, he'll understand ... You know Thran, he's a great guy, he can understand anything ...

- I do not care, he's an asshole ... I love him, you should understand ... I love him, and he does not care ...

- I know. I know it's hard. But I am here, aren't I? Huh? We're all here ... "

I know. But I want him. I want his eyes watching me. Look at me, not at this bitch who dares to show herself with my brother. Bitch, yes, exactly! I hear footsteps in the hallway. Someone comes down the stairs and the door opens. And my secret love appears. Fuck. Micro-Ice departs with a smile.

"Well, I'll leave you alone. Ahito, call me okay? And you do what I told you to..."

WHAT A JERK! I'll kill him. Yes, well, just go and shut the door firmly! Gulp. I am alone with the man of all my desires. As always, my heart is racing. It feels too good when he sits on my bed and smiles. It's cute when he has this air of incomprehension. The man I love is perfect. I smile. Little heart, quiet please.

"You have to do what?"

I gotta say I love you. But it's not gonna happen because I love you, and I do not want to disgust you.

And he is curious! I can see him approaching me. No! Don't do that! But what exactly is he ...? He has gone mad! He runs his hand under my shirt and starts tickling me. I bite my lip. He's very gifted. Despite myself, I laugh. He won, I must tell him. It is a kind of contract that we've made when we were five years old. FUCK I'M CURSED! What a stupid idea...

"Come on, you have to tell me now!

- ...

- Come on. Ahito! ... Otherwise ...

- ... I ...

- Hhhhhhm? Come on? ...

- I ... I love you ... "

I hate those three words! I look at him, he's smiling like an idiot.

"I love you, too!

- No! Not ... not like that ... "

I'll thank Micro-Ice later. For now, I'm busy. I'm kissing him. Yes, and not just a little. I kiss him fiercely. It's so good. His lips are soft and warm. I don't care about his opinion, I kiss him because it's probably the last time I'll be able to do that. I kiss him because I love him. I kiss him because in thirty seconds, he'll leave me. And .. Damn it! I can feel his hands behind my neck! WHY I CAN FEEL HIS HANDS BEHIND MY NECK? He's kissing be back and when I try to pull away I feel him shoving his tongue into my mouth. Fucking god I love ... It's so good. I'm left breathless, and his face remains at three millimetres distance from mine when we pull apart. He smiles. He is so beautiful.

"I love you Ahito ..."

No! I'm dreaming! STOP! Right now! I straightened up and look at him. I ... No ... He looks down.

"I've loved you since we were little ... I never had the courage to tell you. I love you ... I am a coward ... I'm pathetic ... I ..."

I don't care that he is my brother. I love him, too. I kiss him again and hug him tightly. We stumble backwards against the bed by coincidence. I love him, that's all there is to it. I. Love. Him. I kiss his lips, his cheek, his ear, his neck. Since the time I've started to dream of this…. How many times did I dream of this? I love him so much ... I feel his hands on my waist when I kiss him again. And his hand passes once again under my T-shirt. I love him so much. I kissed him again. Again. Again and again. I love him.

His hands make me shiver. It's sweet. I pull a little too hard at the buttons of his shirt. His chest is white but his cheeks are red. He groans and it's the most beautiful music I've ever heard. I love him so much ...

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Lying under the covers of my bed, I stroke his chest. I love my brother and he loves me. We've made love. I love my brother!

"You haven't told me what Micro-Ice told you to do.

- Ah ... I had to tell you that I love you.

- You've told me, you've even scream it.

- I don't care, I love you. "

He kisses me. Yes, I love him too. I love him so much.

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**End of chapter 1**

Review?


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry****, folks! I'm horribly lazy, so it took me forever to get started with the second chapter, but it's done now! YAY! The last chapter will hopefully follow a bit sooner… *fingerscrossed***

**If you haven't noticed it in the first chapter: this is a TRANSLATION! The original story is written in French and belongs to ****SIIn-Siid (formerly known as ****MaXou-ShinI****)****. Go read the original if you can! **

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**Une question de regards**

Mon regard pareil au sien

I woke up with a start, sweating and suffering from a total panic. I gasped for breath. I took the time to contemplate the ceiling to make sure I wasn't dreaming anymore then closed my eyes and sighed. What a horrible nightmare. Atrocious.

This nightmare was proof that I had really fallen asleep. What a waste of time. I almost didn't sleep anymore. Five hours a night at most. I opened my eyes and turned to my other self. My twin brother always waits until our parents are asleep to come over to sleep in my bed. (YES sleep! According to him the night is for sleep and the day for fun. I must confess that I don't entirely agree with him. OK, maybe not at all.) I smiled. I love watching him sleep. When I have nothing to do during my nights I watch him sleep. Does he know how cute he is?

I gently stroked his cheek. And to think that two weeks ago I yearned for him ... Yes, I love my brother, I always have ... But it has only been two weeks since he has truly come to realize that. Two weeks ago, that he looked at me this way, that he kissed me, and that he told me he loved me. I could have wept with joy. I… who was committed to an impossible love ... I brushed back a strand of his hair. We had made love, too. It was better than anything I ever imagined. Just because I love him ... Yes, I love my twin brother. My twin brother is simply the man of my life. I knew it might seem strange, but I can't do anything about it. I knew everybody was going to be angry, but I can't do anything about it. I knew my ex was angry with me for life because I dumped her like that, but I can't do anything about that either.

He opened his eyes and looked at mine. I smiled. If he could just understand how much I loved him without words.

"Hello, little brother."

I love knowing that he's my little brother. I love knowing that he's so dependent on me. I know I can do nothing without him and I like it, that's all.

"Ahito ... I love you."

- "I love you too Thran. I love you so much ... "

I felt his lips on mine. What a delicious sensation. What delicious moment, to feel the lips of the loved one on my own. I returned his kiss passionately. He moaned against my lips, I kissed his neck, and then he took control of my mouth again. I belong to him, and I like it. I'm only for him. We parted, breathless, and I observed:

"We are sweethearts now, huh?"

- "Who cares, I love you."

Three words with which I could reach for the moon.

Needless to say that it's almost unbearable for me to participate adequately in training with my brother's eyes constantly fixed on my back. Or lower. ARGH. I find it horrible to think he can watch me all he wants while I have to turn back to meet his gaze. It's horrible because Aarch is also staring at us. I sigh, and I think back to the ball that went past me on the upper right.

"Thran, mind telling us what happened to you?" exclaims Captain Rocket when we leave the locker room, showered, hair still wet. "I think you're distracted lately, and Mei cannot defend goal all by herself. If you haven't noticed: we're going to play in the final next week!"

No kidding? I want to reply. But is it my fault if I have someone's eyes fixed on me? Is it my fault that this makes me nervous? No, it's not my fault, but I can't tell him.

"Forget it, Rocket!" D'Jok responds in my place. "They'll have nothing to do, since we'll make sure that the ball stays on attack! Right, Mice?"

- "Huh?" He said abruptly raising his eyes. "Ah, yes, the final ... Uh, yeah, of course we'll win ... "

He was distracted, too. I exchanged glances with him. Hm? OK, something is definitely going on ... D'Jok and Rocket turn right, and we continue the other way with three left. I waited for Micro-Ice to leave, but he didn't even talk. I knew he knows, and I also knew he is not one to spill the beans. Yet I could see that he is not doing well. Ahito put his arm around his shoulders and I felt a flash of jealousy.

"You okay Mice?"

- "Hum? Oh, yeah, yeah, don't worry, I'm fine. "

Liar.

"Liar ..." sais my brother with a smile.

Our small friend freed himself suddenly and turned down another street. Normally, I would have run after him to make him spill the beans, but not now. I grabbed my brother by the shirt, dragged him into a deserted alley and threw him against the wall. I kissed him with a violence that isn't like me at all which surprised me. Since when was I like this?

"Thran ..." he sighed when I kissed his neck again. "What are you doing?"

- "You're crazy to make me all hot like that! Do you even realize what kind of effect you have on me?"

I have never known anyone so provocative, so seductive, so ... I couldn't control myself any longer, all my thoughts were focused on the boy that I had pressed against the wall. I kissed his lips again, giving back the pleasure he had already given me. He moaned. I was totally in control. By now I felt lost for words and I thought no more. I closed my eyes, caressed his muscular torso eliciting another sigh; absolutely delicious to my ears.

"Thran ... Not here ..."

- "Oh, yes, here, right now. "

Did I really just say that? What's happening to me? It's clear that my brother made me go completely mad. Well, I'm far from hating that. He twisted us around making me take my turn against the wall and caressed my lips with his tongue.

I love my brother and I welcomed my brother ravishing me in this deserted alley.

"We're going a bit far, don't you think?"

I pressed myself against him. I had been content there, pressed right up against him in my bed. I closed my eyes. After so many years of watching him in silence and trying to forget about it, I had more than earned those moments of happiness. He passed a hand through my hair. It wasn't even night yet, but still, in the sweet slumber of the moment, I felt myself slip into nothingness. Sleep in the arms of Ahito ... At that moment I thought that nothing and nobody could disturb us.

I was wrong.

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"Ahito and Thran together!" Mei cried when she learned the news.

- "Since last week."

- "Wow ... I knew things like that existed but it still shocking ..."

- "Hmm ... What will they do now? Their mother was totally freaked out ..."

- "Well it is already clear that we'll have to support them", declared Tia diplomatically, "to face their family will be hard enough."

- "Strongly agree", responded Rocket taking the blonde's hand. "Micro-Ice, how did you know anyway?"

- "By chance. And you could say, I helped them become a couple."

- "So you ..." D'Jok whispered, looking up to the sky. "You're super talented to take care of others but when it comes to yourself, you don't manage to sort things out! "

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I knew nothing more difficult than to face our parents. Suddenly I felt like a little kid again, who had just made a mistake. A big mistake that deserves a huge punishment.

"How can you do this to us ..." my mother wept bitterly while my dad put his arm around her shoulders. "How can you do this ... we didn't bring you up like this ... Why ... My kids ... My sons ... "

I couldn't say anything. I had no answer to her question. I knew I did nothing wrong, I did nothing but love my brother. A flash of anger leaped through me like a tiger, nasty and violent. VERY violent. But what was I supposed to tell my mother? She seemed devastated. So I said nothing. I didn't even dare to meet Ahito's eyes. I was scared. I knew our parents would do anything to separate us now. We were still teenagers.

Suddenly, Ahito rose and left the room. I didn't do anything to restrain him and my mother burst into tears again.

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"Ahito? Ahito? Ahito ... it's me ... Come on, open the door ... ... Ahito"

- "Go away Thran," his voice was broken by sobs. "Leave me alone ..."

- "Ahi '... please ... "

Even the nickname I gave him when we were little children didn't change his mind. I had been useless and weak. I didn't deserve him. Enraged I banged my fists against the locked door. Of course it didn't open. But even as a child, I couldn't do anything else but wait in front of this door. I felt salty tears running down my cheeks. I'm such a fucking idiot! Everything was my fault. I had convinced him to sleep with me, I had dragged him in that alley, I fell asleep against him and I said nothing. He was suffering because of me.

"You could go through the window." said a voice behind me.

I turned to see Micro-Ice smiling at me. If I hadn't been in such a terrible state, I would have noticed that he had cried.

"The window?"

- "Yes, the window. You know, that thing made of glass that allows you to enter the room of your beloved ... "

That's it! The window. It was so obvious that it hadn't even crossed my mind. I mentally called myself an incompetent idiot again and smiled at him.

"Micro-Ice, you're the best ..."

He smiled slyly. But I didn't notice, because I had already run to Rocket's bedroom which is right next to ours.

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He was lying on MY bed hugging MY pillow tightly to his chest. Behind the window I nearly burst into tears because he was so adorable and fragile. He was MINE. And nobody will separate us. Not bothering to knock, I entered our room. He gave a start and turned to me. He was so beautiful that I had to restrain myself not to jump him right then and there. No, first we had some talking to do. I positioned myself in front of him while he remained sitting on the bed.

"Thran ..."

- "No, wait. I ... I don't care what our parents might think. I don't care that we will probably be disowned, that Mom will throw us out or that we will never get gifts for Christmas again. I don't care, because I just want to be with you ... I want you to know that I love you till death, and I don't want to be separated from you ... I can't imagine my life without you ... I love you so insanely that I ... I don't care about our parents, as long as you stay with me ... "

I had started crying again without realizing it. I felt Ahito's arms come to rest around me. I buried my fingers in his hair. When he was near me, I felt invincible.

"I love you Thran. I love you so much ... I was afraid that our parents would separate us, too ... I love you Thran..."

-" I know, I love you too. "

I kissed him passionately. I was afraid of losing him, and at the same time, there was simply no way that was ever going to happen.

"You came through window?" He whispered liking my ear. "Trying to be like Micro-Ice or what?"

-Hum ... Yes ... He gave me the idea to hnnnnnnnnnn!"

His hand had just passed underneath the fabric of my pants.

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"Well? What do we do about your parents?" Tia asked, taking Rocket's hand.

- "Dad accepts it better than Mom already... Well, I think, at worst, they just don't care anymore. "

Then, he kissed me for the first time in front of our friends. Although I was surprised, it was a wonderful feeling and I let him. Accompanied by the whistles of others.

"Well there is just you left, Mice", said Mei leaning against her boyfriend. "When will you introduce us to a girlfriend?"

- It's not going to happen. "

He closed his phone with a twist of his wrist and left the room, slamming two or three doors along the way.

"Uh ... do you think we show off our happiness too much?" asked the petit blonde quietly.

- "No, that's no like him at all. Something must have happened", answered Rocket.

- "Tia? ... He said he's not going to date girls ... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

- "Nooooooooooo, Micro-Ice is far from being gay you know..." said the redhead in her place.

- "Everyone has the right to be bi", I retorted.

- "Well then who? He told me about an unrequited love once ... "

Micro-Ice is in love with a man who doesn't love him back? I swore to myself to investigate that more closely ...

But for now, I was busy. I had a brother, a lover, a boyfriend to entertain. I pressed my forehead to his.

"I love you.

-" Uh ... Yes, I love you too! ... Hey! ...

- "What?"

- "We really have the same eyes ... "

I smiled and kissed him gently.

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The End (of chapter 2)


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